March 14, 2011

Meditation, Weeds, and Crocuses

This is how my brain felt when I woke up today at 5:30.
That would be 4:30, if you take into account that Daylight Savings Time
just kicked in.
Takes me about a week to adjust my inner clock in spring.
Never takes that long in fall when we get another hour to sleep
add an hour.

My ritual of drinking 2 cups of coffee with hazelnut cream 
did little to soothe me while reading the paper.
Yes, my heart aches for all the folks affected by those headlines.
But I was anxious.  Couldn't concentrate, much less, meditate, on anything.

Then I thought of my blogger friend, Julie, who's going to give the Lord some meditation time each day during Lent.
With eager movements and an expectant heart,
I reached for and haphazardly opened my Women's Devotional Bible.
Then I had a little conversation with God.
What should I read, Lord?
The devotion you opened to.
"Thanksgiving for All Things"?  Sorry, not today.  
[I wasn't really sorry.  He knew it.  But His still small voice said gently,]
Read it anyway.
Okay, but I'm certain that 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 is not on my to-do list today:
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Not feelin' it, Lord.
You don't have to.  Just do it because I asked.
[Obstinate silence.  *Anxiously thumbing to another selection*  Happened upon Ephesians 6:11]
Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.
But I'm too weak to stand.  I'm so burdened with care.
There's a hymn** about your condition.  
The refrain goes, "Take it to the Lord in prayer."
[Beginning to tear up.]
Okay, Lord.
Life's season is changing again and I never got used to the last one.
I was hoping to share my joy at being a Grandma with my Mom.  
But her health is so if-y.  
After 24 years of living so far from her and missing so many celebrations of life with her...
Are You going to continue to allow her to suffer and then take her...??
[Full-on boohooing now.]  
Her care needs are very high, beyond what I can do for her from so far away or even really if she were here with us.  What do I do about that?
You're doing it.
My daughter is going to be a mother.  I'm going to be a grandmother.
Yes, those are wonderful things.  But again, I'm so far away.
Are we going to miss out on doing life together, too?
Go on.
[Dear Husband] was sick all weekend.  All I could do was feed him antibiotics and food at regular intervals.  Oh, and as much as I love him and he loves me, I feel far from him, too.
#3 child has not found his purpose.  
There is estrangement in the family.
I feel inadequate to help those I love the most.
You are.  But I'm not.  
I'm the One who created your family.  I love them more than you do.  
Did you forget that I have "plans to give you and your family hope and a future"?
[Jeremiah 29:11]
When you aren't joyful and thankful, it's cuz your heart is far from Me.
 You need to draw near to Me daily 
by reading My Word, talking with Me, and waiting for My response.
Remember the post you wrote on Saturday?
Read it again.  Those words aren't just for your readers' benefit.
They are for you, too.
You were at peace and full of hope in Me by the time you'd finished writing it.
You're right, Lord.  And I feel that way now, too.
Thank you, Jesus.

By then, it was time to kiss my DH and send him off to work.
I usually stand on the driveway, oblivious to what any passersby may think,
and blow kisses to him as he drives away.
He honks and says, "I love you!  See you tonight!"
Love that moment in our day.

I turned to go in, but decided to linger in the morning sunshine
-thank you for the sunshine, Lord!-
to enjoy the crocuses
and pull weeds from between the flagstones.
I don't like it when they go to seed and make more weeds!

I don't mind gettin' my hands dirty gardening.
Time with Jesus, kisses from my man, gardening.
Oh, I feel so much better!

Do you give up listening to Rolling Stones music, chocolate, or shaving your legs
for Lent?
The first two I've actually done.
The third would not be a sacrifice.

Hoping that you are joyful in the Lord today!

**Click here to find out more about Joseph Scriven, the writer of the hymn,
"What a friend we have in Jesus,"**


Karen Kyle Ericson said...

What a wonderful post! I feel some of the same things these days, anxious and uncertain especially the headlines. This morning I jumped into Psalm 105. And prayed. All better now :) Thanks- so wonderful to hear of other Christians experiencing the same things.

Julie said...

Karen that was a terrific post and thank you for mentioning me too. It has been a little difficult getting a full 10 minutes into my meditation and it's not the reading and prayer, it's just keeping the mind on task. One thing at a time, that's what I need to do and quit thinking about other stuff that either needs to be done, what's attention, is happening, going to know what I mean. But this post, WOW, it makes me think a bunch more. I love it. It's been hectic already today. My daycare missed the bus (bus early, us late) so tried to catch up with the bus...nope didn't happen...good thing both hubby and son work in town so he went with them.
I'll be doing a post about meditation soon. Maybe if I can get it right or at least closer.
Take care Karen and God Bless!!

Patti said...

What a fantastic post! I needed to read that! I don't like that anxious feeling either..and I always come to find it's because I'm not leaning on HIM. =)

Joanne@ Blessed... said...


Thanks for the comment. Glad you could share that Cheri Fuller video with another. LOVE your site. I'm your newest follower.


Unknown said...

I'm following from the Tiggerific Blog Bounce! Can't wait to spend time reading your blog. I'd love a follow back. :0)

Karen said...

Karen, I believe I was meant to read your post today! I had a wonderful talk with Jesus yesterday, too. My family lives far away and it bothers me more in uncertain times. Bless you. Keep on praying and writing!

Colleen said...

I can so relate to this post! I have those days too where it seems God has a certain message "just for me" and I don't want to hear it, it doesn't fit with how I feel, or takes too much effort...:)

The feeling of peace though is such a wonderful blessing. I also love gardening and am eagerly waiting for crocuses or anything to their appearance here!:)

Have a lovely day!

Deborah said...

Hi! This is my first time to your blog, it's so pretty! And I enjoyed reading several of your posts. I might tag along for a bit! :)

Natasha in Oz said...

I think everyone should read this post! The world is suffering and needs hope right now. Thanks for helping me think and reflect.

Blessings and best wishes,


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