Empty Nest

 Are you on this end of motherhood?  How did/do you deal with it?

Are your friends, activities, job, husband, and home

enough to fulfill you, allow you to live your purpose in God's plan?

Been there.  Still do it.  Or, at least, tell myself to do it.

But I struggle.

Struggle, as in 

"I miss my kids so much my chest feels like it's going to burst!"

That began when our eldest went to college and got married, and only increased in intensity as the next 2 did the same.  I've been trying to find a healthy outlook in this season for over 10 years.

Am I the only one?

Yes, there are many joy-filled moments and blessings to be savored.  

There's lots of love to keep me warm.

But in my heart, this "missing them" spot is fresh and tender.

Do you have one of those?

Elizabeth at Just Following Jesus left me a thoughtful comment [love those!] on yesterday's post.

I hopped over to her site to thank her and found a kindred heart.

In her Wednesday post, she talked about her sorrow as her Daughter, SIL, and children 

leave the US to serve God in Africa.  

She quoted Watchman Nee,

"God wants us to love Him more than our Isaac."

She's considering starting a new blog called M{oms}O{f}M{issionaries}

with this purpose-

Maybe us Mamas need an online place to share both the wounds of letting go as well as the joys of seeing our children serving God and to share prayer requests as well.

I want to be a joyful, gracious woman of God.

For the most part, I believe I am by the looks of me.

But my heavenly Father and my Dear Husband know differently.

They know my struggle.

I want to be able to be alone with myself and them

and truly be that woman.

I need some other Moms to come alongside me 

and help me learn to love God more than I love my Isaac.  

I have encouraged Elizabeth to begin that blog.

How about you?

Would such a blog fill a need in your heart and soul?

If so, please visit her and tell her that.

I am so thankful that you are there.

Your posts and comments help me with these crazy ups and downs

as I try to find my way with Jesus.

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:1, 23-24 

May you taste God's abundant grace today!

Love,

Linking up with 

Iris @ Grace Alone for Thankful Thursday

Meditation, Weeds, and Crocuses

This is how my brain felt when I woke up today at 5:30.

That would be 4:30, if you take into account that Daylight Savings Time

just kicked in.

Takes me about a week to adjust my inner clock in spring.

Never takes that long in fall when we get another hour to sleep

add an hour.

My ritual of drinking 2 cups of coffee with hazelnut cream 

did little to soothe me while reading the paper.

Yes, my heart aches for all the folks affected by those headlines.

But I was anxious.  Couldn't concentrate, much less, meditate, on anything.

Then I thought of my blogger friend, Julie, who's going to give the Lord some meditation time each day during Lent.

Bingo.

With eager movements and an expectant heart,

I reached for and haphazardly opened my Women's Devotional Bible.

Then I had a little conversation with God.

What should I read, Lord?

The devotion you opened to.

"Thanksgiving for All Things"?  Sorry, not today.  

[I wasn't really sorry.  He knew it.  But His still small voice said gently,]

Read it anyway.

Okay, but I'm certain that 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 is not on my to-do list today:

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Not feelin' it, Lord.

You don't have to.  Just do it because I asked.

[Obstinate silence.  *Anxiously thumbing to another selection*  Happened upon Ephesians 6:11]

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

But I'm too weak to stand.  I'm so burdened with care.

There's a hymn** about your condition.  

The refrain goes, "Take it to the Lord in prayer."

[Beginning to tear up.]

Okay, Lord.

Life's season is changing again and I never got used to the last one.

I was hoping to share my joy at being a Grandma with my Mom.  

But her health is so if-y.  

After 24 years of living so far from her and missing so many celebrations of life with her...

Are You going to continue to allow her to suffer and then take her...??

[Full-on boohooing now.]  

Her care needs are very high, beyond what I can do for her from so far away or even really if she were here with us.  What do I do about that?

You're doing it.

My daughter is going to be a mother.  I'm going to be a grandmother.

Yes, those are wonderful things.  But again, I'm so far away.

Are we going to miss out on doing life together, too?

Go on.

[Dear Husband] was sick all weekend.  All I could do was feed him antibiotics and food at regular intervals.  Oh, and as much as I love him and he loves me, I feel far from him, too.

#3 child has not found his purpose.  

There is estrangement in the family.

I feel inadequate to help those I love the most.

You are.  But I'm not.  

I'm the One who created your family.  I love them more than you do.  

Did you forget that I have "plans to give you and your family hope and a future"?

[Jeremiah 29:11]

When you aren't joyful and thankful, it's cuz your heart is far from Me.

 You need to draw near to Me daily 

by reading My Word, talking with Me, and waiting for My response.
Oh.

Remember the post you wrote on Saturday?
Yup.
Read it again.  Those words aren't just for your readers' benefit.
They are for you, too.
You were at peace and full of hope in Me by the time you'd finished writing it.
You're right, Lord.  And I feel that way now, too.
Thank you, Jesus.


By then, it was time to kiss my DH and send him off to work.
I usually stand on the driveway, oblivious to what any passersby may think,
and blow kisses to him as he drives away.
He honks and says, "I love you!  See you tonight!"
Love that moment in our day.

I turned to go in, but decided to linger in the morning sunshine
-thank you for the sunshine, Lord!-
to enjoy the crocuses
and pull weeds from between the flagstones.
I don't like it when they go to seed and make more weeds!

I don't mind gettin' my hands dirty gardening.

Time with Jesus, kisses from my man, gardening.
Oh, I feel so much better!

Do you give up listening to Rolling Stones music, chocolate, or shaving your legs
for Lent?
The first two I've actually done.
The third would not be a sacrifice.

Hoping that you are joyful in the Lord today!
Love,
Karen

**Click here to find out more about Joseph Scriven, the writer of the hymn,

"What a friend we have in Jesus,"**

Linking with:

Jodi @ Magical Mouse Schoolhouse for

"Monday, Monday...

so good to me.
Monday, Monday,
it was all I hoped it would be.

Actually, it was Friday and Saturday that were all I hoped they'd be.
One of my goals for Project 2011 was accomplished:
Make plans with my husband to improve our marriage.
On Friday evening and Saturday all day,
we attended this marriage conference at our church:
Cultivating A Thriving Marriage
I should mention that growing together, instead of apart,
is a mutual interest.
I didn't have to twist his arm.
God is answering 20 years' worth of prayers  
as He begins a new work in us
in our empty nest season,
just before grandparenthood.
He is teaching us a deeper meaning of
what it means to be one flesh.
Remember that term from your wedding vows?
Seems so long ago.
Jeepers, it was long ago!

On Friday evening, we sat with 2 other couples, and, over dinner, 

chatted about our first dates, honeymoons and favorite vacations.

.

Did I mention the meal was catered? 

I didn't have to plan it or cook it.  

I wasn't on the committee to set up, serve, or clean up, 

(The youth group did that!)

and there were lemon bars for dessert.

I passed up brownies for lemon bars.

I know!  Crazy me!

Which would you rather have?

My Knight in Shining Armor,

was at my side.

Throw in friends and good food.

The weekend was shaping up to be 

one of the best we've had as a couple 

for a mighty long time.

After dinner, 

Ben and Janet Burns, national speakers at 

Family Life's Weekend to Remember marriage conferences, 

were introduced and spoke with humor and sensitivity about 

the differences between men and women.

Her thoughts:  "Where is our relationship headed?"

His thoughts:  "The car needs and oil change."

I'm certain about this:  
Everyone who reads this has noticed 

this apparent disconnect between the sexes, right?

Right??

Since Friday night was supposed to be a date night,

there was another special treat in store for us:

A local Christian couple, married for 35 years,

Mark Hanson, a Grammy-award winning guitarist,

and his wife, Greta Pedersen, the 2009 Artist of the Year for Young Audiences,

 performed for us.

(You can check out Mark's videos on youtube, too.  I've only linked to one here.)

On Saturday morning, Ben reminded us,

as is usual at each one of the Family Life Conferences we've attended, 

to make these our priorities:
 God first-Vertical relationship
Spouse second-Horizontal relationship

He said he and Janet experience conflict in their marriage.

And so does every other married couple, Christian or not.

Another thing I feel certain about:  
This is not new news.
Is it?

Well, phew! 
The DH and I aren't the only couple in church 
who have some doozies conflict.

They equipped us with useful scripts and methods to use to
work through our conflicts

in God-honoring ways, with love and truth.
Yes, marriage is work.  Every.  Single.  Day.

Everything they shared can be used by newlyweds as well as folks who've been married for decades.

One of the best things about the conference was that many of our friends were there.

When we first met, 17 years ago, we were all raising teenagers

a trying time even if you have "good" kids.

Together, we went through the stops and starts of 

launching them,

only to experience the empty nest.

College/jobs/military service, weddings and/or out-of-wedlock pregnancies, 

and grandparent-hood were next.

By God's grace, we are all still married to the partners of our youth.

It's so encouraging to know that these dear friends 

are still committed to their marriages 

and that they rely on Godly instruction to thrive, together, till death parts them.

Several times during the weekend I wondered,

"How do people get through married life 

without God

and a church family?!"

Thank You, Lord, for the tools we came away with this weekend.

We're so grateful that You will help us learn to use them.

Thanks, too, for our church family with whom we get to share 

the mountain tops and valleys of life here on earth.

Not by might, nor by power,
but by My Spirit, says the LORD...
Who despises the day of small things?
Zechariah 4:6, 10

My God shower His grace, mercy, and peace on you today!

Love, 

Linking up with

Cate at Moments of Whimsy

and for the first time with Drowsy Monkey for

and Danielle for

and Darcy for

and Katie for

and the Latte Lady, Janet for

I'm Thankful For...

...my Golden Retriever, Boomer. 

 I read about a local dog show this morning and began thinking about her.  

Realized I still miss her.  

Terribly.

Boomer, 1994-2009

I know many folks in the world are hurting, hungry, homeless, and hopeless.

But I just wanted to take a few moments to

remember her

with you.

She helped me greet the day, every day, for over 14 years.

She suffered a stroke in August of 2009.

She'd been hobbling around on arthritic hips for several years. 

Be assured, we gave her doggie-type medicine for her aches and pains.

But that morning, I had to come to terms with the finality of her stroke symptoms.

Her head was tilted to 1 side,

She could no longer grin at us for her mouth was slanted in an unfamiliar frown. 

She couldn't move off her bed, much less eat.

In the afternoon we took her to the vet.

He gave her 2 shots.

One to calm her.

One to send her quickly to heaven.

We like to think she's gone fishin' with my Dad there.

She kept her eyes and ears peeled for...squirrels.  Oh, how I miss petting her silky fur!

This morning, I wept as I read about the dog show.

Now I am tear-less.

 I truly am thankful for the years we had together.

Years when she acted like the dog she was:

spots on the carpet, chewing on forbidden things, leaving land mines, etc.

Years when her cheesy grin greeted me 

without fail

EVERY TIME

she saw me,

even if she was being naughty.

She was always in a good mood.

She made sure it was safe to...

...enjoy our quiet time on summer mornings.

In the spring of 2007, I asked God to let her stay healthy 

till at least fall, 

after our 3rd child got married.

I just couldn't imagine all that planning

without her.

I told God I needed her

sweet, unconditional companionship

as I pondered the wedding.

She combined these 2 skills seamlessly:  vigilance and nap-taking.

I asked that of the God Who...

created the heavens and the earth,

gave His only Son, Jesus, to be my Savior,

numbers the very hairs on my head, 

wipes away every tear from my face.

She loved car rides.  This was the last time she rode in our 20 year old minivan.
We gave it to a charity soon after this, dog hair and all.

As usual, God knew what I needed better that I did.

He let her stick around for another 2 1/2 years. 

And when  the new school year wasn't far off, 

when I began to dread leaving her 

in the laundry room all day,

He took her quickly

to heaven.

Okay, NOW I'm choking up.

Not so much because I miss Boomer

-although the heart of God surely knows I do-

but because I'm remembering

His grace, love, and mercy 

 to me 

and to my dog,

pressed down and overflowing.

The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces...

Surely this is our God;

we trusted in Him,

and He saved us...

let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation.

Isaiah 25:8, 9

And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

So don't be afraid...

Matthew 10:30, 31

Oh, the abundant grace and love of God!

May you be filled with it today, friend.

Love,

Want to meet lots of other bloggers?  Go check these fun blog hops: 

Linking up with Kristin, Jaime, & Melissa 

@ Take it from me

  

Lynn @ Spiritually Unequal Marriage

Java @ Never Growing Old

I Get To Touch These Lives

Thought you might enjoy "meeting" some of the folks I hang with 

in my job as a speech language pathologist assistant

at 4 different public elementary schools in my area.

I call them my cookies and buddies.

When I began, 11 years ago this month,

I wanted to touch them for eternity,

for Jesus,

even though I couldn't speak His name.

I came up with this:

Tell them they are 

wonderful

at the end of our once a week

20 minute sessions.

I hang posters in each of my schools' small group rooms that say:

I am wonderful.

I can do it.

I ask them to say that before leaving.

Only a handful have resisted, and then only for a week or two.

After that, they remind ME that they need to say it.

I think it warms Jesus' heart to hear His little lambs say that!

Why do I get to work with these precious people?

Short answer:

They need to learn to articulate their sounds correctly 

and use language to express themselves better.

Some of them come to me pronouncing /k/ & /g/ 

like "t" & "d."

I love it when they say my last name which begins with a "G."

Others have lisps, or difficulty distinguishing /f/ and /th/.

Then there are those for whom the book

Hooway for Wodney Wat was witten,

I mean, written.

Without further ado, here are some of the reasons I get out of bed in the morning.

She made huge strides between kindergarten and 1st grade

learning to say /k/, /g/, and /r/.

And she has a fabulous wardrobe.

Wish they made red sparkly shoes in my size.

He gave me a quarter for Valentine's Day last year.

The Wodney Wat Fan Club.
I think they've grown 6 inches in 18 months.

Watched 'em lose 6-8 teeth each and then grow them back in.

Why don't I remember that with my own kids?

Worked with him from kindergarten to 6th grade.

He loved to beat me at Go Fish and board games.

Worked with her for several years at 2 different schools.

What a little lady!

And then there are the scores of devoted teachers and other assistants

who love on our students.

There has to be a special spot in heaven for them.

Yikes, this little crew keeps me hoppin'!

What a joy to hear them conquer their /r/ sound and 

learn to express themselves in grammatical sentences.

I keep data for each student in each session.

And then there's the lovely art work...

 

 which covers the walls and lifts our spirits.

Thank You, Jesus, for giving me this ministry.

Grace and peace to you!

Love,

  

Linking up with Java at

Never Growing Old 

for

What Will My Legacy Be?

As I shared here, there's a lot of junk in my past that I'm not proud of.

But when I walk in the grace of God's forgiveness

I'm free to dream about wonderful things:

like the fact that I will be a Grandma for the first time

around Mother's Day next year.

And I've begun to wonder

what kind of legacy will I leave for my children?

And now, my grandbaby?

The Holy Spirit reminds me that He is still at work in me,

that I am His beloved work-in-progress.

And He gives me this word of encouragement:

"Remember the faith of Timothy's mother and grandmother.

You, Karen, have that faith in Me.

Fan it to flame by spending time with Me."

I'm weak Lord!

He continues patiently,

"I did not give you a spirit of timidity, 

but a spirit of power,

of love

and of self-discipline."

[2 Timothy 1:5-7]

I want to be that kind of woman!

I want it to be said of me,

"She had faith in the Lord no matter what." 

Nichole Nordeman's lyrics brought these thoughts to mind today:

I wanna leave a legacy.

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love? 

Did I point to You

enough to make a mark on things? 

Wanna leave an offering.

Child of mercy and grace 

who blessed Your name unapologetically

  and leave that kind of legacy.

Just wanna hear, "Good and faithful servant!"

[the video is at the end of the post]

Thank You, Jesus, that You continue to draw me to Yourself.

Give me grace to grow in my faith today.

Grace and peace to you, friends!

Love, Karen

Linking up with Iris & friends @ Thankful Thursday.

Taking A Breath

Good morning, dear friends. 

 I've been perusing some of your blog posts and 

enjoying the eye candy of your  lovely tablescapes 

both for Thanksgiving and your amazing Christmas decorations.

But me?

I'm with Jane at Blondie's Journals, 

I need to take a breath and let "normal" reign in my home

for a few days 

before I start the Christmas decorating blitz.

But that's just me.

Except Marty's idea for a front door decoration

is now ensconced in my brain

and I can't wait to copy it!

The fact that she got some of the pieces from 

Dollar Tree is encouraging to me

because that's what my budget calls for this year.

I'll post my take on it later.

These are some items on my agenda for today:

1. Help Mom in California get a replacement for her stolen Social Security card.  She left her purse in a cart at Target yesterday.  Bless my little Bro, who lives close to her, for canceling her credit cards checking accounts, and is taking her to the DMV for a new driver's license!
2. Return several pairs of shoes to Zappo's.  Oh, how I wanted those RED satin flats and animal print flats to fit my bunion-infested footies!  Not a chance, fancy pants.
3. Meet the DH at the bank to settle some business there at 12:30.
4. Get the porkchops out for supper.  Even though I'd planned to make this last Wednesday night, it didn't happen.  I'd spent the entire day prepping for Thanksgiving and was too tired to cook.  Hurray for the teriyaki place near our home!
5. I get to have my hair cut by the talented woman who's been my hairdresser for five years.  It's the one luxury I just haven't been able to give up in our season of season of financial concerns.
6. Wash, fold, and put away several loads of laundry.

Rain-washed Zen garden on my front porch

What are you up to today?  

Diving into decorating your home?

Puttin' up the tree?

Running errands?

Taking a breath?

For me, part of taking a breath from holiday prep is 

calling to mind the precious moments that happened in our family over Thanksgiving.  

Storing them in my heart like the treasures they are.   

I'm asking God to guide me through my list with a 

thoughtful, thankful, gentle, and quiet attitude.

But Mary treasured up all these things 

and pondered them in her heart.

Luke 2:19

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment...

Instead, it should be that of your inner self,

 the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, 

which is of great worth in God's sight.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Welcome To Making Friends Monday Blog Hop 11/29 hosted by Living on Love and Cents,  The Thrifty Things,  Reviewed By Mom , and  Coupons are Great.
The rules are super simple but VERY important! 

1. Follow the Making Friends Monday  Hosts (Listed as # 1-4) They WILL follow you Back! You MUST LEAVE A COMMENT so we can follow you back!

2. Grab our Making Friends Monday button and include it in a post on your blog.

3. Link up to THAT post.

4. Start hopping and remember following back is appreciated!

Help spread the word and get more followers:
-Put the same linky list code on your blog and you'll have the exact same list!
- Your blog visitors can add their blog to your list and it will show up on all lists!
**Don't forget to follow the rules so you have a chance to be the "Spotlight Blog of the Week"!

If you have any giveaways ending THIS WEEK go link up HERE. Take a minute to enter some too!

  It will be fun getting acquainted with this crowd!
Don't forget that you are wonderful!

Love, Karen